Radio Vulva! (Winter 2004 at All About My Vagina)
more of issue #3
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Blame It On The Squirrel

Get The Squirrel!

You may know Emily from the fine indie pop band Elephant Island, or from her special edition, Christmas solo project, “Get The Squirrel”. She is a fascinating intersection of sweet and gross. She is one of the kindest, friendliest women ever to sing harmony and love kittens, and she has a photo of the inside of her colon on the fridge.

Apparently, Emily comes from an entire clan of similarly thoughtful yet vulgar folks, as evidenced by this song parody that her cousins wrote to commemorate a yeast infection she developed upon arriving home, to her lover, after an extended vacation at the family cottage. It's sort of a nice thought, and remarkably informed about the causes of vaginal fungal overgrowths.

Sung to the tune of Milli Vanilli's “Blame it on the Rain”.
“The squirrel” is Emily's loverman's nickname. He's sort of furry.


original manuscript

You wore cotton panties
You wore baggy jeans
You ate a lot of yogourt
To avoid that certain scene

But you did the boinky boinky
and you feel like such a fool
the yeast is back again
tell me why is life so cruel?

Gotta blame it on something
Gotta blame it on something…

Blame it on the squirrel
he was horny, horny
Blame it on the squirrel
he changed your pH
Whatever you do
Don't put the blame on you
Blame it on the squirrel
ya ya

Well you went to see your doctor
He said you did things right
But your hoo's lack of action
meant it couldn't put up a fight

Now Jamie really missed you
More than computer games
he's got you back again—
But it don't feel the same—

Gotta blame it on something…

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