Rebecca: This is another unfair competition. Let's listen to them anyway.
Listening to Ophelia
by Kinnie Starr, 1996
“ She had red bread
Really, really red bread! ”
Rebecca: This doesn't sound like the makings for a good time, to have this on in the background. It's a lot of power play.
Sarah: It is pushy. It sounds more like stomping around than making out.
Rebecca: It sounds like bullying. “Listen to my song, while I do what I will!”
Sarah: I think mainly I like the use of the colour red, because it's bright, but that's no advantage when you're up against Little Red Corvette
Galen: “Really, really red bread!”
Rebecca: Or, a red corvette? Do people often say “bread?”
Sarah: Not that I've heard.
Galen: Maybe she means something else.
Rebecca: Maybe Ophelia bakes tomato basil bread.
Galen: Maybe it's communist money. [laughter] Russian dollars!
Rebecca: [in a Russian accent]Ophelia
Galen: has Russian dollars.
Rebecca: Really, really Russian dollars!
Galen: She's a mail-order bride!
Little Red Corvette
by Prince, 1982
“ Move over baby, gimme the keys
Iím gonna try 2 tame your little red love machine ”
Rebecca: Look, my whole demeanor changes. I'm perched on my seat.
Sarah: I think my favourite part of this song is the recurring horse metaphor for condoms, and the talk of jockeys.
Galen: That could have been Prince's other career: jockey.
Rebecca: He'd look so intense on a horse. All small, in a purple suit.
Galen: Or just naked, like on the back of “For You” where he rides the Pegasus.
Rebecca: That face!
Galen: OK, this song wins.
Rebecca: What if it comes down to Little Red Corvette and Let's Get It On? How will we choose?
Galen: It's going to be tough.
Rebecca: It is going to be tough. They're both perfect songs.
Winner: Little Red Corvette
Pay attention to this little discussion. It may seem completely absurd, but it was also the inspiration for the Panty Boy song you can download in this issue!