Vaginal Food & Cuisine (Fall 2004 at All About My Vagina)
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Bottomless Lemonade


Golden Showers? For real?

Not sure what a “Golden shower” is? Straight up, it means to pee on or be peed upon by your lover. For me, to hear, see, feel, or especially taste my woman in the act is very pleasurable. It may not be mainstream for everyone, but it's certainly part of many people's fun.

Pee is filtered blood, and much more sterile than your hands, your spit, your sweat. Pee gets dangerous if the donor has some bad disease, or you let it age outside of the body (lots of bacteria love it). While hormones are expressed in pee, the amounts are low. Unless your pee is all that your lover drinks all day, every day, the cumulative amounts are miniscule. Be clear, though, that some chemicals do transfer. Magic mushroom users have known this for centuries. A priest or priestess would pass on their magic through their pee! I personally have mellowed out after drinking from my partner when she had had a Xanax-type drug!

The taste is a bit bitter, and a bit salty, and not cold like a beer. After the first few squirts, very little can be tasted. It can taste a lot like what you just ate. Take a good wiff next time you pee after lots of coffee, and you'll smell those roasted beans. If you drink lots of liquids, you could mistake it for warm water. If you don't drink much, it will be strong. If you eat spicy food, it can be hot. You are the chef, and you control your vintage.

So, why do I like it? Oh, that anything in the mind can be labelled so easily. I do know that, for me, it is a deep sharing, a deep intimacy, and a bit of a taboo-breaker. As a guy, cumming can be too fast and final. A drink from her fountain gives me massive contact with her, and another buzz en route, in between looking after her needs. I feel no subjugation, and no domination. Her act is one of generosity, because of course my partner must decide to do it! If you decide to try it, you can start with little sprinkles, fun in the shower, or some other small act. If your partner picks it up, follow your imagination. And as with anything else, keep it fun. Bon Appétit!… or should that be Bottoms Up?

Winter Night Cap

Perhaps the most “artistic” memory of drinking my woman's champagne happened on a winter ski holiday.

We were staying at a small remote camp in our own log cabin, many miles in the bush and far from the normal comforts of civilization. It was snowing and cold outside, but the stove was hot and the cabin comfy inside. The sheets were warm and soft, and yet there were cool places to stuff your feet. The whole thing was very sensual.

We had been making love for an hour or so, and I was in my wife's vagina. I already had her taste on my lips, and her smell on my nose. We were cruising along, with slow movements, and I was enjoying feeling her stomach on mine and had my hand around her cheeks. Then, slowly, she started to tighten when I went in. At first, she flinched just a little, and then over time she would contract when I went deep. If you are a woman, you probably know the reaction, when your bladder gets pushed. I don't personally know it, but it sometimes heralded great things for me.

When this became a regular reaction to my attention, she quietly sat up on me, and looked at the door and the potty (part of the overnight accoutrements of the lodge). I could see her thinking; it was too cold to go outside, and the potty was just a bit stinky. She stayed there a moment, and then gently withdrew off of me. She got down off the bed, and stretched. I got a raging hard-on just watching her. I knew she was full of pee, but she wasn't saying anything.

She slowly walked over to our luggage, and started digging around. I feared she would put her boots on and go outside, but then she stood up with a red towel. Folding it carefully, she then carried it back regally (not rushed, and with a sexy smile) and put it on my pillow, and said something to the effect that “she knew what I would really like.” Talk about a heart condition test! She then placed me on the pillow (the deliberateness added to the anticipation), and got on top of me, and slowly backed her pussy up to my face. She smelled wonderful, and I remember looking at her spread swollen lips.

The bed was soft, and was a bit narrow. She had to therefore tighten her legs snugly up to my side. The effect was that her thighs tightened against my neck and ears, muffling out the entire world. My nose was near her bum hole, and her cheeks held my face. All I could smell was a woman who had been skiing all day and hadn't had a shower, and had just a little whiff of everything down there (pee, pooh, sweat, WOMAN). All I could see was the candle light reflecting down her cheeks.

She stayed in this position for a short while to relax her urethra, and loosen her bladder. She often sort of meditated at this point.) Then, she quietly pushed softly into my mouth, and after a slow start, peed for a long time. Because it had been a while since she last went, the taste was medium and memorable, and because it was a cabin and not our bed or pillows, I had to catch every drop! I swallowed and swallowed and swallowed, breathing now and then. She was just great!

Once she had finished, she loosened off and let me kiss her dry. Then she got up and slowly turned around and we embraced. I was quite full, and could feel her weight on my stomach when she was on top. As I slipped back in to her, she felt completely relaxed. It was such a sensual time. After another half hour or so of frontal and oral lovemaking, we both came deeply. It was then my job to go out to a tree and pee for both of us. Sleep came soft and deep, and we woke very late the next day for our next adventure.

Bottomless Lemonade on a Hot Summer's Day

It was on a warm summers day some years ago. My girlfriend and I had been on holidays for a while, staying at a cottage on the Canadian shield. We had made various day trips, and were enjoying lots of contact, exploration, and close sexy evenings together. Long mornings waking up, with lots of love making. Each day was different: some times we went for a drive, some times we stayed in.

And so it was that one day we found ourselves out for a walk on a sunny day. We had driven for about an hour and a half, including a small lunch out, and had reached a short hike to a picturesque waterfall. Parking the car, we got out in the sun, and set out for the view.

She had on her yellow skirt, which was very short and bright. It went well with the green forest and speckled sunlight that washed down on us. The walk was not all that long, and wound through the trees along a path lined with small plants and soft pine and aspen leaves. Seeing her walk in front of me, I got horny just looking at her legs, her back, her skirt…

Soon we were at the gorge, and we walked up along the top of the cliff to the falls. We stood and watched the cataract when we got to it, enjoying the subtle power. Some people that were ahead of us had their fill, and turned and left. We were now alone. The air was cool near the falls, and so we held each other a bit longer as we watched the relentless flow.

We too turned to go, as the sun was getting lower and we had a long trip home. Still, we did not go fast, and enjoyed climbing down the rocks. Somewhere, I became aware that, perhaps, she didn't have panties on, and got hornier just thinking about her. It would be a long drive… and no panties meant she was thinking of the evening ahead. And so we walked on.

Turning a small corner in the path, she hesitated. I stopped. Looking around, she seemed to be hunting out a different route. Holding my hand, she guided me to the side of the path along a small clearing. What's up?, I wondered. Then, seeing a soft hollow in the undergrowth, she told me maybe I should sit down. Thinking of her skirt, panties, and my state of mind, I gladly did, feeling the soft lichen around me. She was standing beside me smiling down, and then turned to face towards my feet. Looking up, I could see that yes, she was bare! Stepping over me, she adjusted her footing, and started to kneel down. In expectation, I loosened my fly, but that was not where she was headed! I have very clear memories of seeing her short yellow skirt descending on my face, and the sight of her bum and aroused pussy heading for my mouth! Wow!

I readied my tongue for her… and then she stopped, just inches away! Looking up, all I could see was her bum; all I could smell was her musk, all I could hear was her skirt as it slid away from view. I just lay there and looked on, enjoying the intensity of it all.

And then it happened. It was only a drip at first. Then, a dribble, then, a shot glass full. She was peeing! On me! She had hit my mouth, and the taste was amazing. Warm, salty, a bit strong, very much her. She was going in little spurts, as her pipes warmed up. Liking the taste, I opened my mouth. Her stream became stronger, and she sat down a little bit more. Wanting it more, I lifted my head, and sealed my mouth around her lips. Reaching up, I embraced her waist and buried my face in her bum.

It had been a long car ride, a good lunch, and a great walk. Lots of time to build up some pressure. I was swallowing about as fast as I could, but she just kept on coming, so much that I just couldn't keep up! Bits were spilling here and there on my face and neck. I remember breathing through my nose and just smelling all-surrounding womanhood. Delicious!

After what must have been a litre of good stuff, she slowed down, and paused on my mouth. I could see her tense up a bit, and then out came the last push! Swallowing it down, I reached up and hugged her bum to my face. As she started to rise, she paused. I reached up and licked her dry, enjoying every drop. Then, almost as fast as it started, she stood up, turned around, and smiled at me. Standing up myself, I noticed just how full I was of her.

The sun really seemed to have moved quite a bit in these few moments, and the night looked upon us. We made our way arm-in-arm to the car, and then home for another night of love between the sheets.

While she had peed on me previously, this time the treat was a complete surprise, and the strength of her presence both sexy and assertive. It was both a way for her to gain comfort with an empty bladder, and to set the mood with me with a lone staccato bar in that week's love song!

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