fake orgasms

page updated: 31-Mar-2004

I have faked orgasms, but I try not to. I maintain that it is counter-productive, even without getting into issues of honesty. How is somebody supposed to know how to be good to you if you make it seem like everything is good?

I think I got better at faking orgasms with practise, and as I had more real orgasms during sex to model on. I made a point of never getting in the habit of faking, even if occasionally it seemed easier than working on real orgasms. I figure that good orgasms are important enough to not compromise. Faking orgasms doesn't properly indicate to my partner what could help me have a real orgasm, and also makes me feel mean for lying, and can make me feel less close to my partner.

I have faked orgasms for several different reasons. I was tired and wanted my partner to stop trying to make me come, but didnít want to embarrass them. I was shy about not having an orgasm. I knew I wasnít going to have one but wanted to make my partner understand that I still enjoyed the sex or whatever we were doing. I thought I was expected to come. I was satisfied and didnít want my partner to feel obligated to keep doing things to me.

Mainly it has been the last one. I haven't had much trouble having orgasms during sex for quite some time, and even before that I rarely felt deprived. The thing is, I don't always want to have one. I enjoy sex separately from my enjoyment of orgasms (I thought this must be a viewpoint mostly limited to females- but people who email me disagree-- right on!.). Sometimes I am happy with the closeness and with having my boy inside of me. Sometimes, although I am happy and content, I am not that aroused and having an orgasm seems like a lot of work.

I don't know that my boy entirely believes that I can be completely satisfied without having an orgasm. I think he thinks I am being a bit of a martyr. I can understand how guys could be unsure about this. It must seem a little odd that females can have sex without being at all aroused, and furthermore that it can be pleasurable. Even further, that even if a female is excited and aroused about sex, that she can be satisfied without having an orgasm.

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