page updated: 12-Jun-2004

G is for Grafenberg, etc., etc...

G-spots get a lot of press, and without any concerted research on my part I've managed to pick up a lot of factoids about them. For example, the G stands for Grafenberg, as in Dr. Grafenberg, who noted the sensitivity of the spot in 1944. Also, the term wasn't included in the Oxford English Dictionary until 1997. I can even explain the relevance of the para-urethral glands, the idea of a “prostate analogue” and the concept that the G-spot is not really an anatomical part, but rather a term that describes sensitivity that a woman may or may not experience in a particular area.

But, for technicalities such as these I'd rather direct you to the G-spot section of book excerpts and articles at The-Clitoris.com, or to the seemingly excellent book I've skimmed several times while browsing in sex shoppes, The Good Vibrations Guide To The G-Spot.

When I first learned that the G-spot in females developed from the same embryonic tissue that would turn into the prostate in males, I was really intrigued. Embryonic stem tissue and analogous organs fascinated me for a few years. But I'm kind of over it. Maybe I'm just used to the idea that we're all built from versions of the same tissues.

As for me...

The main focus of all the hoopla surrounding G-spots is the role that G-spot stimulation can have in orgasms. The sponge tissue surrounding the urethra, which can be stimulated through the front wall of the vagina, is sexually sensitive in some women and can produce different orgasmic feelings and the infamous female ejaculation.

As you might be able to tell, this hoopla tires me. I think that often it even discourages me from doing any G-spot exploration because it feels like homework. The uniformity of all G-spot advice has left me bored, in addition to my general resentment. Is there a G-spot article anywhere that doesn't suggest using a “come hither motion” to finger the spot, or rear-entry sex to poke at it?

However, I have had some good times with my G-spot. I've found it easy to find, but harder to please. If I press against pretty much any place on the front wall of my vagina, within the first inch or two of the opening where it has a lot of sensitivity, it feels somewhat uncomfortable and gives me the urge to pee. These are apparently tell-tale traits of the G-spot.

To feel anything other than nagging discomfort, I need to already be aroused. In a randy state, pressing against the front of my vagina still feels uncomfortable and gives me the urge to pee, but it also expands the tingly, happy feelings that center in my clitoris to surround my urethra as well (below my clitoris). For whatever reason, it also helps me keep the nearby muscles relaxed, which usually makes my orgasms feel bigger even without pressing my G-spot.

Even better than specifically pressing in the vicinity of my G-spot is to use a larger object to press against the entire front of my vagina. A really firm toy can be handy for this, if it is long enough to give me the leverage to press it flat, rather than pivot it to different angles. During sex, the most satisfying strategy I've yet discovered has been to have a penis in my vagina, then press against the cock with a finger inside my bum. That is a lot of stimulation at once, and I need to be really turned on before I can enjoy it, but it does a lot of good things when I am ready for it.

All of this stimulation feels good to me, but I haven't noticed a reliable difference in my orgasms while doing these various things. Sometimes they are more intense, but sometimes they have a big lead-up and kind of fizzle out instead. That kind of variety is common for me. Specifically, I've never ejaculated. Apparently it is possible to squirt large amounts of fluid out of the urethra with G-spot stimulation. Making that big a mess intimidates me somewhat unless I'm in the bath. Maybe if I ever actually ejaculated, I would decide that the mess was worth it. Maybe we'll see.

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