page updated: 30-Mar-2004

I like the word chaste a lot better than celibate, but I like celibacy better than chastity (as words). Because I was sketchy on the difference between the two, here it is:

Celibacy is abstinence from sexual intercourse, and sometimes from all sexual relations and from marriage, and implies a commitment to this practise. Chastity is abstinence from impure or extramarital sexual relations, or a general state of purity and virginity etc. So marriage can be a chaste relationship without being a celibate one, or could be both if there was no sex in it.

I've never thought there was anything wrong with being chaste or celibate. I have tended to think it is sad when people refrain from sex because they are afraid of something, usually either of sinning or of sex itself. This is mainly because I know it isn't pleasant to be afraid. I have no negative reactions to people who abstain because they think it is the right thing for them to do, either morally or because they don't want to do it (or because they think it is sexy, any of which may be the case with the resources at this chastity belt site).

The idea of saving myself has crossed my mind, and I can understand how it would be a beautiful gesture, but I've never had the desire or willpower to do that instead of what I do. At one point I thought I might as well have been saving myself; at least then I would have had an excuse :) Had I felt I had the opportunity I probably would have been a slut...Except that most of the people I have met that I could be slutty with are flakes and that bugs me. Oh, the torment.

I have never been morally, ethically or religiously motivated to be celibate. I have been chaste because I was too young to know any alternative; I have been celibate against my will because I couldn't find anybody I wanted or who wanted me (for thoughts on this subject, check out Alana's excellent Involuntary Celibacy Project); and sometimes I am or want to be celibate as a sexual practise unto itself.

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